Letting Go
by Evenstar1002
Summary: "I'm saying that we should go in there… and earn you the best night's sleep you've ever had."; 9x10 companion piece to fill in the blanks of *that* night.


_A/N: This fic was kind of prompted by Nannalyn and I couldn't let it go. So here we are once again. This is heavily M-rated, just so you've been warned :)_

_The dialogue in italics is taken directly from 9x10 (just borrowing, thanks AK), the rest is my crazy mind for you :)_

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_**Letting Go**_

~o~o~

Donna is anxious when she hears the door fall closed and the feeling only intensifies tenfold when Harvey rounds the corner with slumped shoulders and an even sadder expression on his face than when he had left her earlier.

Her heart breaks when he tells her about his evening and how his time with Mike, that was supposed to help ease his mind and heart for a little while, in truth had the exact opposite effect. There is a certain kind of defeat in his posture, as the burden of everything that had happened recently weighs him down. His emotions had been a whirlwind those last couple of days and despite not having said much, not because he was trying to shut her out but because she felt it all like they were her own emotions anyway, Donna knows how much he's struggling to keep it together.

Standing stoically in front of her however, even with his physical appearance screaming resignation, there is still that familiar fire of determination burning in his gaze as he looks at her, letting Donna know that there is still enough strength and fight left in him.

_"Donna, listen to me. I know you called Mike because you know I needed him. And for a couple of hours, I wasn't thinking about the case or tomorrow, or even how much I miss my mom."_ Gratefulness emanates warmly from his eyes that are firmly fixed on her. _"You gave me what I needed. But it's time for me to win this thing."_

The look in his eyes, and the way his voice picked up during those last couple of words, spark a desire deep inside of her. That all too familiar desire to be there for him. In whichever way he needed her. And if Mike failed to help Harvey wind down, she would be damned if she couldn't do it for him.

_"You know, I never told you how many times I thought about us being together. It was usually nights like tonight when I didn't know if things would turn out okay. But I knew it doesn't matter if it's Faye or Tanner or Hardman or Goliath. Whoever it is... no one stands a chance against Harvey Specter."_ Her voice breaks off, as she takes a step towards him, a different kind of desire boiling to the surface now. _"And that is the sexiest thing in the world."_

He recognizes her look; recognizes the way she moves and the way her voice changes. And it triggers the intended reaction, his whole demeanor changing right along with it. _"What are you saying?"_

Donna closes the remaining distance and heat engulfs them all of a sudden; a heat that had nothing to do with the flames dancing in the fire place but everything to do with them and the enigma they are. Always have been. Long before there ever was a 'them'. Donna's hot breath cascades over his skin, as her lips teasingly graze his cheek. His fading cologne and the remnants of whiskey on his breath blur into a deadly mix of masculinity and Harvey. _"I'm saying that we should go in there… and earn you the best night's sleep you've ever had."_ She can feel how her words affect him, when his breath stumbles and when the sorrow that had rolled off of him turns into an avalanche of intensity in the matter of a single second.

With a sure stride she walks past him, but not before letting her finger slowly and tantalizingly slide over his stomach. Knowing him for as long as she does, Donna knows exactly which buttons she has to press. And though she had been unsure for a moment if it was the right thing to do and if Harvey was in the mood for _that_ kind of distraction, the purpose she can hear in his step as he follows her is all the conviction she needs.

Harvey has caught up with her before she could make it halfway to the bed. His long fingers wrap around her upper arm and with a tug, he pulls her around. Upon hard impact against his broad chest, a surprised yelp escapes Donna and she doesn't even have a second to prepare herself when his hungry lips land on hers. He leaves no doubt about what he wants and about how much he wants it. His hands are all over her back, then finding her butt and pulling her tighter against him. Already, she can feel him harden against her stomach, and she inches even closer by rolling her hips in salacious rotations. His rewarding growl, that's stricken with lust, goes straight to her core; releasing a wave of avidity deep within her.

The energy that comes off of him is almost too much for Donna to keep up with and she's glad when Harvey breaks the kiss after seconds or minutes – she has already lost count or the ability to care – and at least some oxygen reaches her lungs and mind. She had wanted to make him forget his troubles for a while by robbing him of his breath, and yet somehow, he is the one doing what she had set out to do. There is a desperateness in his touch, the kind of desperateness she's only felt once before; months ago, when he had shown up at her door and changed their lives forever. Every night – and morning, and shower or kitchen encounter, and even one file room adventure – they had spent together since then, has been filled with the most mind-blowing sex either of them has ever experienced. Sometimes it is quick and messy, sometimes (most times) it's slow and so hauntingly affectionate that the love is almost too much to handle.

And then, Donna and Harvey learn that very night, that there is a third kind of lovemaking. The kind where quick and messy interfuses with slow and affectionate, mingling in an explosive bubble of intensity. Harvey is setting the pace, his hands already fumbling with the zipper of her dress, while Donna's are sliding the jacket from his shoulders, before freeing him from his tie. Black fabric joins his jacket on the ground and Donna steps out of it, moving closer to the bed with every step backward. She has her finger hooked inside of his dress shirt and pulls him along, not that he wouldn't have been following her like the hunter followed his prey anyway. His eyes are coal black in the dimly lit bedroom, turning even darker when Donna finally takes the lead again, turning them around and pushing him onto the mattress. They move in-synch, him inching backwards in the direction of the headboard, her crawling after him and on top of him. Only now does Harvey get a chance to fully take her in, her red curls in shambles, her eyes burning for him, lips swollen from their passionate kissing. Bordeaux satin is in parts covering her porcelain skin, hiding those areas of her body he'd much rather see and touch and kiss. But the moment he starts reaching for her bra, she stops him, fingers wrapping around his wrist and putting it back down on the pillow next to his face, where she lets their hands rest for a moment.

A growl erupts from his chest, as his eyes lock with Donna's. Maddeningly slowly, she's leaning down towards him, closing the distance. "My turn, Harvey. Let me take care of you."

Her words slide over him, the tone in her voice making them a declaration of love and a carnal provocation all wrapped up in one. Before he can reply, Donna's lips cover his in another demanding kiss, that's full of promises of what is yet to come. Only lingering for a short while, she then begins to kiss her way along his jaw, to his ear and from there down his neck, only to be stopped by white cotton. Making quick work of his shirt, her fingers pop up button after button and every inch of skin that's bared is covered with her lips soon after. She spends an extra amount of moments at his chest, her tongue teasing him until his nipples harden under her ministrations. It elicits another groan from him; the vibrations it causes in his body slipping right into her in a rush of excitement. As she continues her exploration further south, Harvey tenses up in anticipation and for now gone are even the last remnants of his troubles.

Donna's name leaves his mouth in a moan, as her tongue traces the waistband of his pants from left to right, her hot breath on his wet skin sending goosebumps up and down his body. She has barely touched him _there_ yet, but his length is already straining against his pants in a despairing need to be released. Her hands have other plans though, caressing him everywhere else; stomach, hips, thighs, palms pressing and fingernails scratching. It's maddening really, the way she teases him, that seems to be too much for him to bear and yet not nearly enough all the same. Harvey tries to move once or twice, trying to reach for her, touch her and make her _feel_, but every attempt she stops with her hands before he even gets close. She has him writhing with want beneath her, but she is not ready just yet to give him what he wants. So instead, Donna works her way back up again, one of her legs resting between his as her groin presses against his center. Overbearing heat emanates from Harvey's body that only intensifies as Donna keeps thrusting against him, accelerating his breath and his heartbeat. His arms envelop her and she lets him for the moment, relishing in the feeling of being held by him as if she was his most precious possession. Donna buries her head in the crook of his neck and Harvey is breathing heavily against her ear, as the sensual dry humping intensifies. The only reason why Donna has to stop her movements soon after is the fact that her grinding is pushing her faster and closer to the edge than it does him and she can't have that yet either. So she slows them down the moment that familiar coiling deep inside of her announces itself.

A frustrated groan erupts from Harvey's lips as Donna's rotations cease altogether and she pushes herself up on his arms with a sly grin. Her name echoes through the room again and she can't quite decide if it's a plea or a warning but either way, she knows that she doesn't want to torture him any longer. Her hands are the advance party down his tense body, her lips following suit. His muscles are dancing beneath his skin, constricting and relaxing in rhythmic patterns under Donna's touches, that have grown surer and more determined.

The tension that is building around them and between them is so thick, it could be cut with a knife, and it rises exponentially higher, when Donna finally opens the button and zipper of his pants, her eyes finding his in a wordless exchange of all-consuming passion. She doesn't have it in her to hold back any more now, so her fingers slide into the waistband of his boxers, pulling them down right along with his slacks. He helps her, lifting his hips, before she rids him of them entirely; the fabric landing on the ground beside the bed in a quiet _woosh_.

Donna's own anticipation and arousal are spiked when she takes him in. His eyes resting on her, his smooth chest rising and falling erratically, hands gripping the sheets beside him tightly, his hardness resting against his stomach tantalizingly. Discarding herself from her underwear, Donna unceremoniously gets rid of the last barriers between them and then checks up on him once more, signaling him with her eyes to relax.

Her hand touches him first and he twitches, seconds before a shiver runs down his entire length. The groan that follows is deep and throaty, sending another wave of arousal crashing through her. If this was about her, she wouldn't have cared about any more foreplay just then or about prolonging this for as much as she could. If this was about her, she would slide on top of him now and unite them, ride him until they both saw stars. But this isn't about her. It's about giving Harvey as much pleasure as possible and about making him forget about everything but them. And she figures she might be doing exactly that, when his eyes screw shut with lust and when his clenching jaw reveals the effect her touches are having.

Donna's fingers had clasped around him securely, her thumb spreading the few drops of passion that had gathered at the tip. He's hot and hard and pulsating and with every rotation of her hand, with every upward and downward stroke, he seems to grow even harder. His groans are rising in numbers and volume, even more so when Donna leans towards him in the next moment and takes him into her mouth. Harvey usually isn't one to be especially loud during sex, but somehow tonight the intensity seems to be too much for him as well. Donna takes him almost all the way in, before pulling back again, setting a perfect rhythm of fast enough to stimulate him and slow enough to not push him too far too soon. Her fingers are aiding in the process, sliding along with her lips, when they aren't occupied with massaging his balls. Her other hand is resting against his thigh in an attempt to anchor herself to him, grounding them both to the moment. His hand finds hers there, him in return needing to bind himself to her to not lose himself entirely. And they hold on to each other like that while Donna continues her sensual ministrations, as she slowly but gradually leads him to the edge. It's after another minute or two that the tingling starts in his groin, and on any other night he would have wanted for her to continue until she'd made him come like that.

But tonight is different. In so many ways, this night is different. It feels different being with her. Feels different to love her. And to be loved by her. Like this. Physically. But even more so being loved by her mentally. For a brief second the sorrow and the worries threaten to resurface, but her light chases the darkness away, heals his heart and makes him fall in love with her all over again. It feels different to love her. Feels different to be loved by her. It feels more intense. Deeper. Better. _Perfect_. And it makes him need to be with her. Inside of her. When they lose themselves in each other. Makes him want to be inside of her, to show her. How intensely and deeply he loves her. Because his words would never be enough.

"Donna," Harvey croaks, barely audible while being too overcome with the rush of emotions that is coursing through him. Donna either hasn't heard him or doesn't care, because she continues unperturbed. "Donna, please," Harvey grinds out louder then. "I'm losing my mind." His words are full of held back desire and it's enough to make her let go of him after all. With their eyes locked, Donna takes two or three deep breaths to compose herself and then slides back up his body, kissing his heated skin that's covered in a thin sheet of sweat. Once she lies fully on top of him, their lengths pressed against each other tightly, it's another wordless exchange that follows, one where she hands over the reins to him because she can see in his eyes that that's what Harvey needs now. He takes them happily and only all too eagerly, sneaking on arm around her waist before he flips them over. He's already too far gone to restrain himself the way he wishes he could in this moment. But he needs her. Fast and hard and now. So his hand sneaks its way between them, fingers finding her center hot and wet and the realization that she is this aroused despite her not having let him touch her at all until just now is pushing him dangerously close to the edge all over again. Primal need is urging him on at this point and he truly hopes that Donna is really ready for him because he can't bear the thought of not being inside of her for another second. They watch each other as he reaches for his hardness that's pulsating in his hand as he lets it slide between her folds three or four times. And then, without another warning, Harvey finally slides into her body with one steady stroke and the intrusion makes Donna gasp in surprise. He's always been a perfect fit, filling her with his physicality just as much as with his energy, but somehow tonight he seems extra overwhelming and extra intense. Donna's walls flutter around him as they are trying to accommodate him, when his hips already begin to bump against her.

"I don't know if I can go slow tonight," he groans, resting all of his weight on his right arm as the left one reaches for Donna's knee and pulls it upwards. Instantaneously, he slides in even deeper, the pleasurable pang eliciting a deep moan from Donna.

"Then don't, Harvey," Donna pants, out of breath by the sheer intensity that's threatening to overwhelm her. "Take whatever you need."

Harvey stares at her for a moment as he continues his deep and strong slides and despite his words, he tries to go slow after all, his gentle strokes giving her at least a couple more moments to adjust. But his jaw is clenched and Donna knows it's probably causing him physical pain to hold himself back, so she reaches for his face, thumb traveling over his brow and moles, before her palm cups his cheek. "Let go, Harvey," she whispers encouragingly, her hand now sliding to his shoulder to hold on to him. "Let it all go."

His eyes are turning darker upon hearing her words, and then he finally does, because he knows he can trust her judgement. Donna had always been his compass, and he would bend heaven and hell to ensure that she would be for the rest of their life. He picks up speed then, burying himself in her tight heat over and over again.

Donna watches him move above her, drops of sweat forming on his forehead as he keeps thrusting into her. His gaze is resting on her, but his eyes are clouded with a range of emotions that even someone like Donna has a hard time identifying them all, especially with his length stroking all the right spots deep inside of her. All she can do is hold on to him, physically by wrapping her arms around his neck and her free leg around his thighs; but also mentally, by not letting him out of her sight, drowning in his chocolate brown orbs that tonight more than ever are the windows to his soul. He's losing himself in the rubble that parts of his life are right now by losing himself in her and their love. But they both know that he will rise from the ashes, stronger and more powerful than before. She can see it changing already, love and determination forming more clearly in his eyes.

The transformation adds another layer of intensity to their lovemaking, as the walls fall down and they near the cliff. Harvey's strokes become relentless, more determined on his chase for their shared release. By the way his cadence changes then, turning sloppier and unrhythmical, Donna can sense that he is close and she signals him once more to let go. But he needs her with him in his fall, needs her with him in his rise, tonight and every second from this day forward. His hand releases her leg, and Donna winds it around his waist to keep it where it had been. His now free hand instead sneaks down to where they are joined, touching her bundle of nerves. It's already sensitive to his touch; the bud engorged and awaiting the needed stimulation. And Harvey gives it to her, pressing against it vigorously as his strokes accelerate.

Time slows down and speeds up all at once as the next thrust into her is the final one to push her over the edge. Her back arches and every single muscle string inside of her tightens before she explodes in throes of sighs and moans. Her powerful contractions are enough to pull Harvey right along with her, as her names drops from his lips like a prayer. His own intense orgasm has him trembling with emotions but as always, Donna is there to catch him; arms and legs enveloping him as he collapses on top of her.

For the longest time, they rest like this, neither of them able or willing to let each other go or to let the moment end. Minutes pass in utter silence and only when some sort of strength has returned into his body, does Harvey lift himself up to look at her. The movement involuntarily makes him slip out of her and Donna whimpers quietly, mourning the loss of their intense connection more audibly than she usually does.

A rush of concern runs through his system, sobering him up and returning his full focus to the woman still slightly trembling beneath him. Worry creases Harvey's forehead, his eyes searching for hers. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

Her breathy chuckle immediately reassures him. "No, Harvey, I'm fine." To emphasize her words, she caresses his face again, smiling at him lovingly. He remains right where he is for a moment longer, studying her expression for any sign of pain or discomfort and only when he has convinced himself that she is okay, does he finally roll off of her.

"That was…" Donna begins, after she had found her most favorite spot against his side, her head resting on his chest while his arm is securely draped around her shoulder. Their other hands lay entwined on his chest as well, that rises and falls more rhythmically again.

"Intense." Harvey finishes her sentence, though the word doesn't even begin to cover what he had felt just minutes ago. And what he is still feeling. He's loved her for as long as he can remember; her being the only woman he has ever loved like _that_. He's known that she's the one and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. He's known that he needs her in his life and that he wants to marry her, as soon as he could. He has known all that before tonight. And yet, whatever it is that had just changed, it feels like he's just realized it all over again, on a deeper level. A level so deep that it surpasses the ability to be explained. So he doesn't even try and just pulls her closer against him instead.

"Donna?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For earning me the best night's sleep I'm ever going to have." His voice is still an octave deeper and raspy from everything they've just shared. He's rewarded with a breathy chuckle and after a short silence, Harvey continues. "And for being you. For the distractions. For helping me cope with all of it. For your love."

Her heart thumps in her chest, his openness and honesty sometimes still catching her off-guard. "I'll always be here for you, Harvey."

"I know," he sighs gratefully, burying his lips and nose in her fiery waves and breathing her in. All of a sudden, his thoughts drift to the ring that he has hidden away just within reach. The urge to tell her about it is blindingly strong. The urge _to ask her_. To make official what they had talked about weeks ago. But things are too raw on this particular day and he doesn't want her to ever doubt for one second that him asking her to become his wife isn't solely because of his love and the desire to spend the rest of his life with her. So he waits. Knowing without a single doubt that he wouldn't have to wait that much longer anyway.

"I love you, Donna," Harvey opts for instead, taking in another deep breath of her calming and reassuring scent.

"I love you, too, Harvey."

And together, they let go. Of reality. Of the immediate future. Finding peace in each other and everything they are and forever will be.

_**The End**_

_~o~o~_

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_A/N: My THANK YOUs go out to the wonderful Nanna (Nannalyn) and Jules (raffertypaulsen) without whom this fic wouldn't be what it is! Thank you, ladies, not only for pointing out all my mistakes but also for listening and for sharing your opinions with me! I feel like I'm growing with every fic that I write thanks to your support! I appreciate it more than I can say! XOXO_

_And thank you to everyone who keeps reading and reviewing! You readers are the best and your words and feedback truly mean the world! _

_XO Nat_


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